From The Onion:
“Due to budgetary cutbacks your horoscope will be the same as Virgo’s until further notice”.
I couldn’t find the one I liked best which was about the stars having been pretty accurate in their predictions “but it was the asteroids” that should have been watched more closely.
Your horoscope cartoons have got me thinking. If I ever get one that says I’m going to come into money, I’ll keep my eyes open for the armored truck that’s supposed to run me over.
For many of us poor saps that is the ironic way it will happen. It arrives, it kills us. Like “Look to the heavens for your future” Well we know what that means, eh?
Reminds me of a poem by Attila the Stockboker on the occasion of England playing Denmark in football (soccer).
“The Danes, the Danes
We’ll bash their brains
And wire their willies to the mains…”
– that’s all I can remember.
Canadians are too friendly and good natured. Quebecois can be on the snooty side I have found. I Miami we worry about them coming from the south. We have been pretty much conquered.
Ignore Fix it’s cartoon reference, you keep ’em coming. PS I know she wasn’t referencing you anyway. Hey is that you in the red pants, no shirt, wielding the big sword?
27 responses to “Jeff’s Horoscope by Carl D’Agostino”
cantueso
September 3rd, 2011 at 15:03
From The Onion:
“Due to budgetary cutbacks your horoscope will be the same as Virgo’s until further notice”.
I couldn’t find the one I liked best which was about the stars having been pretty accurate in their predictions “but it was the asteroids” that should have been watched more closely.
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Carl D'Agostino
September 3rd, 2011 at 15:09
Thank you
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jannatwrites
August 29th, 2011 at 00:11
Those northerners like a good fight 🙂
Your horoscope cartoons have got me thinking. If I ever get one that says I’m going to come into money, I’ll keep my eyes open for the armored truck that’s supposed to run me over.
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Carl D'Agostino
August 29th, 2011 at 06:53
For many of us poor saps that is the ironic way it will happen. It arrives, it kills us. Like “Look to the heavens for your future” Well we know what that means, eh?
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blackwatertown
August 28th, 2011 at 16:56
Reminds me of a poem by Attila the Stockboker on the occasion of England playing Denmark in football (soccer).
“The Danes, the Danes
We’ll bash their brains
And wire their willies to the mains…”
– that’s all I can remember.
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Carl D'Agostino
August 28th, 2011 at 18:48
You folks sure take soccer pretty seriously, that’s for sure.
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Carl D'Agostino
August 28th, 2011 at 16:49
Largest sea battle in history, yet not a single ship fired on another ship. All airplanes.
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burstmode
August 28th, 2011 at 13:06
Coral Sea…yes…that was quite a scramble. I like this cartoon.
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Judith
August 27th, 2011 at 02:09
Invaders here ALWAYS come from the north. There is almost nothing any further south. I have to say the guy in the red pants looks remarkably like you.
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Carl D'Agostino
August 27th, 2011 at 06:48
Good thing we stopped those fellows at Coral Sea in 1942.
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Craig N.
August 27th, 2011 at 00:05
The Only Invader From The North that I Ever Believed In
Was
SANTA THE TERRIBLE
All I Got Was Coal
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Carl D'Agostino
August 27th, 2011 at 06:48
You should have stolen an electric stove
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pattisj
August 26th, 2011 at 21:09
Our enemy is coming from the southeast. Thanks for sending, you know you could have kept her.
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kateshrewsday
August 26th, 2011 at 15:05
This stargazer is clearly versed in the art of the understatement…
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 17:58
These days a triple by-pass is as simple as removing the tonsils
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nrhatch
August 26th, 2011 at 12:10
Love how you transform the generic horoscope into a specific scenario . . . 😀
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 14:42
Ideas still coming so I think I’ll run with this a week or so.
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jack downing
August 26th, 2011 at 11:37
What? The Canadiens are coming?
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 11:41
Canadians are too friendly and good natured. Quebecois can be on the snooty side I have found. I Miami we worry about them coming from the south. We have been pretty much conquered.
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Paul Russo
August 26th, 2011 at 11:04
This must have been the start of the fall of the Roman empire . . . was Jeff an emperor ???
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 11:10
Sure. He started Little Caesar’s pizza chain.
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m
August 26th, 2011 at 09:52
Ignore Fix it’s cartoon reference, you keep ’em coming. PS I know she wasn’t referencing you anyway. Hey is that you in the red pants, no shirt, wielding the big sword?
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 10:50
Unfortunately no, My hair has turned white and I need to trim this waist line a bit(OK a lot). Yeah Mrs. Deal has supported from beginning. Thanks.
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Tori Nelson
August 26th, 2011 at 09:50
Carl, I hope you know I’ve completely stopped reading horoscopes. These are way more entertaining, and I don’t have to look over my shoulder!
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 10:46
New ideas for horoscopes are coming.
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adeeyoyo
August 26th, 2011 at 06:21
Adventurous… ADVENTUROUS… A D V E N T U R O U S . . . ! They may think they’re adventurous but I think they’re positively DANGEROUS!
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Carl D'Agostino
August 26th, 2011 at 06:28
Vikings are not usually dinner invitees
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