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A Gentleman’s Guide to Using the Public Toilet by Carl D’Agostino


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 April 17, 2011  Carl D'Agostino
Categories: Uncategorized

33 responses to “A Gentleman’s Guide to Using the Public Toilet by Carl D’Agostino”

  • LFFL
    May 18th, 2014 at 10:43

    A SOCK?! Oh, man! Lol.

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    • Carl D'Agostino
      May 18th, 2014 at 10:52

      Ya gotta be prepared.

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  • Posky
    July 21st, 2011 at 21:54

    I ALWAYS go into a laughing fit when someone tries to fake cough. There is probably nothing funnier in the world to me.

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    • Carl D'Agostino
      July 21st, 2011 at 21:59

      I am really glad you stopped by to check this one out. It is one of my favorite pieces. I try to mimic that Dave Barry style but the readership here seems to enjoy the quick instant jolt of the cartoons over even a short piece of writing. .

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  • carldagostino
    April 20th, 2011 at 19:18

    Pee pee block. Happens every time I go to the doctor. Then I tell him “How can I produce a “specimen” if the last thing I do whenever I leave the house is pee ?

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  • duckofindeed
    April 20th, 2011 at 19:10

    Qua ha ha! Funny!
    I feel bad whenever I walk in on my cats in the bathroom. The girl doesn’t seem to mind as much, but the boy seems rather embaressed at times.

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  • Debbie
    April 20th, 2011 at 11:21

    Ah, you’ve definitely made me laugh today! And that’s got to be the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever seen — I want to hire their cleaning crew! You’ve brought up some interesting points, but I can’t get that sock out of my mind — next time I see a fella wearing only one sock, I won’t just assume he’s homeless or poor!

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    • carldagostino
      April 20th, 2011 at 14:57

      Good. I am trying to see if some of my writing stuff will have some appeal. Thanks for visit.

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  • Carl
    April 18th, 2011 at 23:37

    One precaution I always take is to check the paper roller to make sure it isn’t stuck because 1 sheet at a pull doesn’t do it for me.

    Great write.

    Observations were spot on!

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 23:47

      That’s a good one to add.

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      • Mountain Republic
        April 19th, 2011 at 09:47

        I have a good airport bathroom tip that could be added to this post, but my experience is a bit too embarrassing to share here!

        MR

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      • carldagostino
        April 19th, 2011 at 16:23

        Come MR . Go for it. You can say it was your cousin.

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  • Val Erde
    April 18th, 2011 at 19:21

    You say ‘toilet’ there? I thought you all said ‘bathroom’!
    😉

    Here we say toilet; bathroom (if it has a bath in it); loo, bog… whatever.

    I’m also still laughing over the sock. I think this must be my first laugh of the day (and it’s nearly my bedtime over here).

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 21:14

      Yes it is bathroom which is such a phony way of saying what it is. Toilet and gentleman are a bit archaic here but I thought it was a more elevated reference appealing to elevated people. Not in height of course, but in class.

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  • lifeintheboomerlane
    April 18th, 2011 at 17:14

    Whoops, I just realized I didn’t address the other issue. For that, you have to find the bathroom in the photo. It must exist someplace. But I’ve never seen anything like that in person.

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 17:25

      Rest rooms at casinos are pretty up scale like this. Well they ought to. I have paid for quite a few through the slot machines.

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  • lifeintheboomerlane
    April 18th, 2011 at 17:11

    It’s seriously far more sanitary to just pee in your pants. Toddlers have known this for years.

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 17:23

      I will be 62 in June. Some say I will have wet pants soon all the time. Yuk

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  • Sana Johnson-Quijada MD
    April 18th, 2011 at 15:41

    Great idea for a post n well executed carl!

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 17:22

      Trying to see if any of my writing stuff has any appeal now. Thank you.

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      • Val Erde
        April 18th, 2011 at 19:19

        It does. 🙂

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      • carldagostino
        April 18th, 2011 at 21:15

        Appreciate that.

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  • markp427
    April 18th, 2011 at 13:56

    Better to have “compounded consternation” than “compounded constipation,” that’s what I always say!

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 17:21

      Everything is a trade off it seems

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  • accidentalstepmom
    April 18th, 2011 at 08:54

    If that’s a picture of your local Texaco bathroom, I’m coming there, because it’s cleaner than any bathroom I’ve seen in the past four and a half years, with the exception of the one in the hospital emergency room.

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 09:16

      Good heavens, no. Gas station bathrooms in Miami are havens for the homeless here in Miami. But we just finished a $750 million baseball stadium, a $200 million performing arts center and they will spend elevendy billion on a quarter mile tunnel to connect the seaport to the main city streets(Never mind that they will hit water 12 feet below the surface and the thing will float away). They spend $300,000 for alleged sculptures(think a bunch of iron beams welded together) plus all the payoffs between contractors and politicians. But homeless shelters ? Naw. Sorry for editorializing on a humor blog but it is an outrage. Thanks for visit.

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  • Maxi
    April 18th, 2011 at 07:20

    Never realized that about food court trays, thanks for the tip Greatsby

    Still laughing about the sock Carl.

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 07:42

      The truth is funnier than fiction.

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  • The Good Greatsby
    April 18th, 2011 at 01:46

    I always put paper on public toilet seats. I recently read a study showing food court trays were just as dirty as public bathrooms, so I’m putting paper on food court trays as well.

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    • carldagostino
      April 18th, 2011 at 07:41

      Yes, they just restack the trays. Maybe wipe off some ketchup but have never seen them washed.

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  • nrhatch
    April 17th, 2011 at 20:01

    Or just go at the side of the road . . . while running a marathon:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/athletics/4454315.stm

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    • nrhatch
      April 17th, 2011 at 20:03

      But don’t go in someone’s living room:

      http://www.tnrunning.com/articles/milner/everyone_poops.html

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      • carldagostino
        April 17th, 2011 at 20:14

        Wetty pants. Wetty pants.

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