I am really glad you stopped by to check this one out. It is one of my favorite pieces. I try to mimic that Dave Barry style but the readership here seems to enjoy the quick instant jolt of the cartoons over even a short piece of writing. .
Pee pee block. Happens every time I go to the doctor. Then I tell him “How can I produce a “specimen” if the last thing I do whenever I leave the house is pee ?
Qua ha ha! Funny!
I feel bad whenever I walk in on my cats in the bathroom. The girl doesn’t seem to mind as much, but the boy seems rather embaressed at times.
Ah, you’ve definitely made me laugh today! And that’s got to be the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever seen — I want to hire their cleaning crew! You’ve brought up some interesting points, but I can’t get that sock out of my mind — next time I see a fella wearing only one sock, I won’t just assume he’s homeless or poor!
Yes it is bathroom which is such a phony way of saying what it is. Toilet and gentleman are a bit archaic here but I thought it was a more elevated reference appealing to elevated people. Not in height of course, but in class.
Whoops, I just realized I didn’t address the other issue. For that, you have to find the bathroom in the photo. It must exist someplace. But I’ve never seen anything like that in person.
If that’s a picture of your local Texaco bathroom, I’m coming there, because it’s cleaner than any bathroom I’ve seen in the past four and a half years, with the exception of the one in the hospital emergency room.
Good heavens, no. Gas station bathrooms in Miami are havens for the homeless here in Miami. But we just finished a $750 million baseball stadium, a $200 million performing arts center and they will spend elevendy billion on a quarter mile tunnel to connect the seaport to the main city streets(Never mind that they will hit water 12 feet below the surface and the thing will float away). They spend $300,000 for alleged sculptures(think a bunch of iron beams welded together) plus all the payoffs between contractors and politicians. But homeless shelters ? Naw. Sorry for editorializing on a humor blog but it is an outrage. Thanks for visit.
I always put paper on public toilet seats. I recently read a study showing food court trays were just as dirty as public bathrooms, so I’m putting paper on food court trays as well.
33 responses to “A Gentleman’s Guide to Using the Public Toilet by Carl D’Agostino”
LFFL
May 18th, 2014 at 10:43
A SOCK?! Oh, man! Lol.
LikeLike
Carl D'Agostino
May 18th, 2014 at 10:52
Ya gotta be prepared.
LikeLike
Posky
July 21st, 2011 at 21:54
I ALWAYS go into a laughing fit when someone tries to fake cough. There is probably nothing funnier in the world to me.
LikeLike
Carl D'Agostino
July 21st, 2011 at 21:59
I am really glad you stopped by to check this one out. It is one of my favorite pieces. I try to mimic that Dave Barry style but the readership here seems to enjoy the quick instant jolt of the cartoons over even a short piece of writing. .
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 20th, 2011 at 19:18
Pee pee block. Happens every time I go to the doctor. Then I tell him “How can I produce a “specimen” if the last thing I do whenever I leave the house is pee ?
LikeLike
duckofindeed
April 20th, 2011 at 19:10
Qua ha ha! Funny!
I feel bad whenever I walk in on my cats in the bathroom. The girl doesn’t seem to mind as much, but the boy seems rather embaressed at times.
LikeLike
Debbie
April 20th, 2011 at 11:21
Ah, you’ve definitely made me laugh today! And that’s got to be the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever seen — I want to hire their cleaning crew! You’ve brought up some interesting points, but I can’t get that sock out of my mind — next time I see a fella wearing only one sock, I won’t just assume he’s homeless or poor!
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 20th, 2011 at 14:57
Good. I am trying to see if some of my writing stuff will have some appeal. Thanks for visit.
LikeLike
Carl
April 18th, 2011 at 23:37
One precaution I always take is to check the paper roller to make sure it isn’t stuck because 1 sheet at a pull doesn’t do it for me.
Great write.
Observations were spot on!
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 23:47
That’s a good one to add.
LikeLike
Mountain Republic
April 19th, 2011 at 09:47
I have a good airport bathroom tip that could be added to this post, but my experience is a bit too embarrassing to share here!
MR
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 19th, 2011 at 16:23
Come MR . Go for it. You can say it was your cousin.
LikeLike
Val Erde
April 18th, 2011 at 19:21
You say ‘toilet’ there? I thought you all said ‘bathroom’!
😉
Here we say toilet; bathroom (if it has a bath in it); loo, bog… whatever.
I’m also still laughing over the sock. I think this must be my first laugh of the day (and it’s nearly my bedtime over here).
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 21:14
Yes it is bathroom which is such a phony way of saying what it is. Toilet and gentleman are a bit archaic here but I thought it was a more elevated reference appealing to elevated people. Not in height of course, but in class.
LikeLike
lifeintheboomerlane
April 18th, 2011 at 17:14
Whoops, I just realized I didn’t address the other issue. For that, you have to find the bathroom in the photo. It must exist someplace. But I’ve never seen anything like that in person.
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 17:25
Rest rooms at casinos are pretty up scale like this. Well they ought to. I have paid for quite a few through the slot machines.
LikeLike
lifeintheboomerlane
April 18th, 2011 at 17:11
It’s seriously far more sanitary to just pee in your pants. Toddlers have known this for years.
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 17:23
I will be 62 in June. Some say I will have wet pants soon all the time. Yuk
LikeLike
Sana Johnson-Quijada MD
April 18th, 2011 at 15:41
Great idea for a post n well executed carl!
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 17:22
Trying to see if any of my writing stuff has any appeal now. Thank you.
LikeLike
Val Erde
April 18th, 2011 at 19:19
It does. 🙂
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 21:15
Appreciate that.
LikeLike
markp427
April 18th, 2011 at 13:56
Better to have “compounded consternation” than “compounded constipation,” that’s what I always say!
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 17:21
Everything is a trade off it seems
LikeLike
accidentalstepmom
April 18th, 2011 at 08:54
If that’s a picture of your local Texaco bathroom, I’m coming there, because it’s cleaner than any bathroom I’ve seen in the past four and a half years, with the exception of the one in the hospital emergency room.
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 09:16
Good heavens, no. Gas station bathrooms in Miami are havens for the homeless here in Miami. But we just finished a $750 million baseball stadium, a $200 million performing arts center and they will spend elevendy billion on a quarter mile tunnel to connect the seaport to the main city streets(Never mind that they will hit water 12 feet below the surface and the thing will float away). They spend $300,000 for alleged sculptures(think a bunch of iron beams welded together) plus all the payoffs between contractors and politicians. But homeless shelters ? Naw. Sorry for editorializing on a humor blog but it is an outrage. Thanks for visit.
LikeLike
Maxi
April 18th, 2011 at 07:20
Never realized that about food court trays, thanks for the tip Greatsby
Still laughing about the sock Carl.
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 07:42
The truth is funnier than fiction.
LikeLike
The Good Greatsby
April 18th, 2011 at 01:46
I always put paper on public toilet seats. I recently read a study showing food court trays were just as dirty as public bathrooms, so I’m putting paper on food court trays as well.
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 18th, 2011 at 07:41
Yes, they just restack the trays. Maybe wipe off some ketchup but have never seen them washed.
LikeLike
nrhatch
April 17th, 2011 at 20:01
Or just go at the side of the road . . . while running a marathon:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/athletics/4454315.stm
LikeLike
nrhatch
April 17th, 2011 at 20:03
But don’t go in someone’s living room:
http://www.tnrunning.com/articles/milner/everyone_poops.html
LikeLike
carldagostino
April 17th, 2011 at 20:14
Wetty pants. Wetty pants.
LikeLike